so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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