i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
