thus making me awesome and them whores
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
