Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize