It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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