its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
