Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
