batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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