i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
