dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
