When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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