can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
