Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
