I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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