nut hugger
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize