in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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