mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
