All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize