Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
