Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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