i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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