almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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