fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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