i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
