it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
The power of my boobs compel you
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize