I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
