we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He shit in the fireplace
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
