your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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