I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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