Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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