Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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