then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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