If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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