i would punch a child for taco bell
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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