I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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