Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
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