were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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