then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Threesome in a minivan. New low
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Randomize
