at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
