Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
