i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
