She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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