trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The struggles of a small town man whore
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
