how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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