You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
