Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
