but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize