please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Holy sore nipples Batman
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
