I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
