To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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