Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
