the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
