my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
