i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
