dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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