what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
