More tranny stories later!
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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