So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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