Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
