i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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