Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Let's get the cat blown out
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
