I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
